Keep Your Hands Off My Son! The importance of teaching our daughters the same values that we teach our sons

One morning this week I listened to a local radio station’s morning show like I often do on my drive back home. The conversation on the show this morning was about boys being hit or bullied by girls. The caller is the mother of a 16-year-old boy whom she said was very handsome, smart, but shy and reserved. The school that he attends here in our city is fairly diverse and surrounded by an urban environment.  She expressed one of my concerns as a mother, someone hurting our children at school or worse killing them. She told the radio host that her son has lately been targeted by one young lady in a really disrespectful and violent way. Daily she calls him gay, a punk, a nerd, and suggested to him that he needed to humble himself.  She pushes him, slaps him, and throws things at him.

As a parent, she said that she has always taught him that you don’t hit girls, but now a girl is kicking her sons behind and ego daily. Her call to the radio show was for guidance and help from a males perspective. She said that while she was proud of her son for not busting this young lady in the head, but when is enough truly enough? She was concerned about him reaching his breaking point mentally and physically retaliating his classmate. The teachers at the school are not intervening and her son is totally fed up. As a mom to a boy, I was instantly pissed for the caller.

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My husband and I teach our son to be respectful of others and that includes girls. We have warned him that he is no one’s punching bag. Our advice to our son is to always walk away if you can, fight if you have to, and if you can’t beat them pick something up and knock the hell out of them. You may not agree with me and that’s okay, but my son doesn’t have an older brother to run away his bullies. I can’t go to school with him every day. I can’t be the angels that God has assigned to him. I pray for my son every single day and I do believe that he is covered under God’s grace, but I also believe that Satan is always on the prowl to devour my son and your’s too!  I’ve recently had to tell him that if a girl gets in your face tell her to move back. If she continues, you walk away. If she hits you, walk away. If she continues to hit you, push her back and call the police. Why do we have to tell our sons this as parents? It’s because girls are seeing violence on social media often. Girls are feeling empowered and I’m so happy about that, but we must teach them the difference between empowerment and disrespect. I’ve heard people much older than me say things like, “she bad enough to hit, she better be bold enough to get hit back.” As a mom of a girl that makes me cringe, but my daughter can’t go around punching and probing anyone because she feels some type of way. Parents, it’s our responsibility to talk to our children. We can stop bullying from boys and girls with rules and standards that we set at home. We need to teach them about personal space, respect, and boundaries. This includes physical and verbal. Let’s do our part and teach our daughters the same values that we teach our sons. Keep your hands to yourself! Respect his space and value his rights.

Have you had this talk with your son or daughter? What are your thoughts about girls bullying boys? Leave your comments below.



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4 thoughts on “Keep Your Hands Off My Son! The importance of teaching our daughters the same values that we teach our sons

  1. Well, in my very younger days when I was about 7 or 8 years old (can’t remember the exact age as it is really long ago ) I was being targeted by a group of older girls as well. Every day the found a perverse delight in calling me names, shoving me and all kinds of other fun stuff. I have never raised a hand to them, but it did have it’s impact on me to say the least. I know exactly when enough really is enough, as there comes a time when the impact to your mental health just becomes too much. I think the advice you have given to your son is sound. As for bullying it just goes to show that girls can be just as mean as boys unfortunately.


  2. Hello Carmen, Thanks for this blog. This is so true our boys and girls need to be taught equity on how to treat and respect each other. Nonetheless, I have told Landon I don’t care who it is HIT THEM BACK but since I read this I ” might” (lol)tell him to walk away first. But seriously, its so hard, people really need to teach their children better, pray for and with them in hopes they will take heed to their teachings!


    1. Thank you so much for reading! It is very hard to walk away especially when it is happening repetitively to a child. The important thing is that you are preparing him and praying too! We have to prepare them because bullying will likely be inevitable for our children. It makes me sad, but we can prepare them.


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