“Girl, I know you’re tired” or “OMG, I wouldn’t stay home” I don’t think I’ve heard these words said to me so many times in my life except for when I decided to become a stay-at-home mom. I think people forget that most stay-at-home moms once worked outside of their homes and were likely equally as tired as they are now after working all day in their homes with their own children. I’m that mom! I went back to work in Education a little while after my son was born. It was the best decision for me at that time. There were a few bad things that happened at his learning center and I have to admit they left me traumatized. Summer break couldn’t come fast enough for me in his last year of someone else’s care. I was just over the carelessness of other adults.
Six years later after the birth of my son, my daughter was born. I went back and forth with the idea of going back to work but ultimately decided to pause my career for just a little while. Six months into my time at home I interviewed for a totally new job in Education and surprisingly I was hired. A few weeks before I was scheduled to begin I had a huge change of heart and we struggled to find good childcare. My husband and I took that as a sign that I should continue to stay home with our daughter. What I never imagined was how it would be a problem for everyone except for my husband and me. So many people had an opinion about why we shouldn’t do this or why they couldn’t do this. Like Jay Z famously said, “It ain’t for everybody.”
Being a stay-at-home mom is a job just like any other job that you care for children. Trust me, I know. As a former Educator, I spent 8.5 hours a day nurturing and preparing someone else’s child to be great! My breaks at work were short and most of the time I didn’t spend them relaxing. I spent them preparing for the next day at work or doing things that I couldn’t do after work because I was going to start my 2nd shift at home as a Mom.
You see, when you’re a good parent some days you’re going to be tired. It doesn’t matter if you work in the home or outside of the home. My day begins as early as 5:45 and ends mostly around 10:30. It was that way before and nothing has changed. The only difference with my situation now is that I’m preparing my own child at home. I’ve been blessed to find some really nice moms that have also chosen to pause their careers for just a little while to prepare their own children. I will admit that some days may be overwhelming for moms that have more than one child at home, but I also believe that those moms fail to prioritize and plan. Housework is not the most important job and seeing your house fall apart around you all day can be depressing for anyone that enjoys being organized and neat. I would suggest that if that is you, choose a day to clean and let that be when your children are sleep. Also, make your spouse, yes, I said make. Make your spouse entertain the children while you accomplish the task that you feel needs high priority at that moment. Also, try to remember that your children are only little for a little while and your home can then go back to being a museum.
If you’re that person that is always referencing “girl, I know you’re tired” and you are also a parent, ask yourself if you’re tired after a long day at work? If the answer is yes, then we’re all doing it right. If not, maybe something in your life is being neglected. If you’re not a parent at all you should most definitely keep that comment to yourself because you really don’t have a clue. Try to be kind to every parent that you meet. You never know how hard they were just previously judged for their parenting decisions. It also might save you from getting “put” all the way together by a mom.