I’m writing this post a day after Father’s Day for a reason, but mostly because God brought it to my attention early this morning that he took care of that little problem with my family that always made me feel sick, worried, and upset. I have a blended family that consists of my biological parents, step-parents, and of course siblings. However, I never equate spending the holidays with my siblings because I know how complicated it is with them having several sets of parents and in-laws. They don’t need the extra stress either.
I love the holidays, oh my goodness, I love them so much, but leading up to the actual day use to make me nauseated because I was afraid to make my family upset. I’m close to all of my parents and I felt like they all equally demanded the same amount of attention from me during the holidays or other important occasions such as Father’s Day. My goal was to make everyone feel loved by first visiting my dad’s house where he and my step-mom are for a certain amount of hours and then jet over to my mom’s house with her and my step-dad for a certain amount of hours and this was all without even calculating my inlaws into the commute. My sweet and patient husband, bless him! At the end of the night, I felt like I had accomplished the goal but at the expense of my husband’s and my peace. It was starting to become unfair to my kids as well.
My mom was always the voice of reason by telling me, “you can’t make everybody happy or this person and that person will be okay at the end of the day.” That comforted me. God guided me by making me comfortable with inviting all my parents to the kids birthday gatherings and special life events. We started choosing what days everyone would have during the holidays so that we could still enjoy our day as a family. Turns out that the older my parents get they actually have a life outside of us as their kids and grandkids and don’t want us holding all of their time anyway. Ha! Having everyone gathered in small rooms together made them work it out or put aside their differences for the moment. God was working on us all and I didn’t even know it. What made it all real for me was at my daughter’s 3rd birthday party here at home. My dad and step-dad were talking leisurely about randoms like they have done in the past. They were able to throw in petty remarks with each other and it all ended in laughter from us and them both. At another time during the party, my mom, step-mom, my aunts, my mother-in-law, and I were all laughing in the kitchen in peace. God was just working it all out and my prayers were being answered. This Father’s Day I was able to post a pic of both my dad’s and my husband as my Facebook profile pic without the fear of offending one dad or the other. Not that they would actually say something to me, but you all know people have other ways of expressing their dissatisfaction. What really put the icing on the cake for me was my hearing my dad tell me that it was so nice of me to put them all on a pic together and then having my step-dad to tell me that he really enjoys talking with my dad when we are all together. Mannnnnn, I was so elated and thankful! God did it all and I finally know what it means to have a blended family.
Do you have a blended family? How has your experience been?