My daughter's hair bonnet could have killed her.

I said I wasn’t going to talk about this. I told my husband who nodded off in the living room that night and I was going to leave it there.  However, as a mom and a woman, I have to say something! A Facebook post from a popular natural hair page that I follow sparked this long comment section that I am now a part of. Ugh! I must respond. Not really, but I feel obligated to respond until I say this one last thing. Right now! A little dramatic, but it comes with my feelings at this moment. I will no longer reply to that post once this is published here.

On March 27, someone on Facebook posted a picture of a sweet baby girl rocking her pink hair bonnet. We use them highly in the African American culture to protect our precious locs and fragile curls. Most of us were introduced to them at young tender ages. Our moms buy them, make them, and we traditionally share them with our daughters. A beautiful generational routine. My son was born with locs of curls, but I didn’t preserve them. After all, he’s a boy and they would soon be snipped off. My daughter on the flip side, yes, we must preserve her curls. They are her crown that she will carry for her lifetime. Women get in their feelings about their hair. I can relate. It sometimes sets the tone for our entire day, so as a natural hair lover and wearer it just comes naturally with the territory of being a “girl” mom. Back to Facebook, the pic sparked so many comments from other moms saying that, “they must order, wow finally a size perfect for my baby girl, this is too cute, I can’t wait to mine arrives in the mail”. As I read more comments my heart did this mom flutter. If you’re a mom, you’ve had it.  I can’t explain it, but I knew I had to share our experience with hopes that we can perhaps wait until our daughters are a tad bit older before giving them a cute bonnet. Well, at least we will. To each his own, right? 

I found the perfect hair bonnet supposedly designed specifically for babies 6 months and older. I purchased it, washed it, and placed it on my 6-month-old’s beautiful head. We all laughed about her resembling what we people say a “lunch lady” looks like with their hair nets on. We went to sleep like we normally do, Mariyah tucked in tight next to me in her Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper.  She’s made me a sound sleeper. My total sleep time at night may equal up to 4 hours.  This night the holy spirit woke me up, and I looked over at my sweet baby. Her silk, pink, girly decorated hair bonnet was covering her entire face. She lay there very still. I gasped with a slight scream afraid to snatch it off to discover a dead child, my baby, but so quickly snatching it off to save her. She cried because I had frightened her. I cried too. I don’t know how her dad and brother slept through that, but they did. I quickly picked up my baby. I held her. I cried a little more, praying and thanking God. I thanked God so, so, so much. As I’m typing this I can remember my armpits and palms being sweaty and my heart pounding. I instantly felt stupid, but thankful all at that moment. I promised her that I would never ever be so careless with her life again. Don’t judge me, I’ve already done that to myself. People close to me know that she’s my Grace baby.  My confirmation of restoration. I’m so blessed to be her “momma”!  As I stated in my comment on the Facebook page, “If I can help save a child’s life, that’s what I’m going to do. I could care less how anyone perceives my comment” Another mom commented, “bonnets are breathable, she wouldn’t have suffocated anyway”.  Ma’am! Are you stupid? Is what I wanted to respond with, but instead I educated her on the fact that an adult and baby’s breathing capabilities are totally different when covered. This includes mesh items as well. This is also one way that a SIDS death can occur. In a moment of anger, she would’ve gotten these mama hands put on her for saying something so dumb.

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Our solution to this almost bad situation was a satin crib sheet. Don’t have $40 bucks to shell out on a sheet or you’re running behind on laundry day? Here is another easy and affordable solution that the holy spirit gave me. Purchase an oversized satin pillowcase of your choice and simply zip the bassinet or pack and play mattress up inside. The pillowcases found in the hair care section tend to be a tad bit wider and longer than those that are found in the linens section.  They work perfectly with our Arm’s Co Reach sleeper. You can also sew or have a seamstress tightly sew a piece of satin fabric into a fitted crib or bassinet sheet. Simply adhere it to the area of the crib that your baby frequently sleeps on. Thanks, holy spirit! He’s so smart! Always saving our children and money!

I hope this post will save another baby girl somewhere.