One morning this week I listened to a local radio station’s morning show like I often do on my drive back home. The conversation on the show this morning was about boys being hit or bullied by girls. The caller was the mother of a 16-year-old boy. She described her son as very handsome, smart, shy and reserved. The school that he attends here in our city is fairly diverse. She expressed one of my concerns as a mother. The concern about someone hurting my child at school. She told the radio host that her son is being targeted by a female classmate. Every day this student calls her son gay, punk, nerd, and suggested to him that he needed to humble himself. The female student pushes him, slaps him, and throws things at him.
The mom stated that she has always taught her son that he should not hit girls, but this student is verbally and physically harassing her son. The moms call to the radio show was for guidance and the perspective of males listeners. The mom said that she was proud of her son for not hurting the girl, but she and her son have had enough. She was concerned about him reaching his breaking point mentally, physically and retaliating against his classmate. The teachers at the school were not intervening and her son was totally fed up. As a mom to a little boy I was sympathetic to her concerns.
My husband and I teach our son to be respectful of others. We have warned him that he is no one’s punching bag. Our advice to our son is to always walk away if you can, fight if you have to, and if you can’t beat them pick something up and knock the hell out of them. You may not agree with me, but my son doesn’t have an older brother to chase away his bullies. I can’t go to school with him every day. I’m not the angels that God has assigned to him. I pray for my son every day and I do believe that he is covered under God’s grace. I also believe that Satan is always on the prowl to devour my son and your son as well. I’ve recently had to tell him that if a girl gets in his face he should tell her to move back. If she continues, you walk away. When she hits you, walk away. If she continues to hit you, push her back and call the police. I’m happy that young women and girls are more empowered, although they must learn the difference between empowerment and disrespect. I’ve heard older people say, “she bad enough to hit, she better be bold enough to get hit back.” Having a daughter and hearing this makes me cringe. Nonetheless, my daughter can’t punch anyone just because she feels like she should. Parents, it’s our responsibility to talk to our children. We can stop bullying with rules and standards that we set at home. We need to teach them about personal space, respect, and boundaries. This includes physically and verbally. Let’s do our part and teach our daughters the same values that we teach our sons. Keep your hands to yourself! Respect his space and value his rights.
Have you had this talk with your son or daughter? What are your thoughts about girls bullying boys? Leave your comments below.
Well, in my very younger days when I was about 7 or 8 years old (can’t remember the exact age as it is really long ago ) I was being targeted by a group of older girls as well. Every day the found a perverse delight in calling me names, shoving me and all kinds of other fun stuff. I have never raised a hand to them, but it did have it’s impact on me to say the least. I know exactly when enough really is enough, as there comes a time when the impact to your mental health just becomes too much. I think the advice you have given to your son is sound. As for bullying it just goes to show that girls can be just as mean as boys unfortunately.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I can only imagine the fear and hurt that you experienced. We have to teach these girls the same standards that we teach our boys.
Hello Carmen, Thanks for this blog. This is so true our boys and girls need to be taught equity on how to treat and respect each other. Nonetheless, I have told Landon I don’t care who it is HIT THEM BACK but since I read this I ” might” (lol)tell him to walk away first. But seriously, its so hard, people really need to teach their children better, pray for and with them in hopes they will take heed to their teachings!
Thank you so much for reading! It is very hard to walk away especially when it is happening repetitively to a child. The important thing is that you are preparing him and praying too! We have to prepare them because bullying will likely be inevitable for our children. It makes me sad, but we can prepare them.
No Comments
Well, in my very younger days when I was about 7 or 8 years old (can’t remember the exact age as it is really long ago ) I was being targeted by a group of older girls as well. Every day the found a perverse delight in calling me names, shoving me and all kinds of other fun stuff. I have never raised a hand to them, but it did have it’s impact on me to say the least. I know exactly when enough really is enough, as there comes a time when the impact to your mental health just becomes too much. I think the advice you have given to your son is sound. As for bullying it just goes to show that girls can be just as mean as boys unfortunately.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I can only imagine the fear and hurt that you experienced. We have to teach these girls the same standards that we teach our boys.
Hello Carmen, Thanks for this blog. This is so true our boys and girls need to be taught equity on how to treat and respect each other. Nonetheless, I have told Landon I don’t care who it is HIT THEM BACK but since I read this I ” might” (lol)tell him to walk away first. But seriously, its so hard, people really need to teach their children better, pray for and with them in hopes they will take heed to their teachings!
Thank you so much for reading! It is very hard to walk away especially when it is happening repetitively to a child. The important thing is that you are preparing him and praying too! We have to prepare them because bullying will likely be inevitable for our children. It makes me sad, but we can prepare them.